Monday, January 05, 2004

Paris Hilton - The Rear End of Western Civilization 

Elites TV - For the Best in Reality: "Knowing little about Paris Hilton beyond the haughty, bulky Hilton brand-name, her name wrapped around an odd tabloid headline or two, and random iridescent glimpses of Paris---a soi-disant model---sauntering up and down a runway during a fashion soiree?, I can safely say I was not wildly familiar with Miss Hilton and knew quite a lot less of Nicole Ritchie. During a “The Simple Life” promo I stumbled upon the fact that Nicole was the daughter of Lionel Ritchie---a long since discarded name of a once popular 80’s vocalist. I guess one could still tune in his catalog on vinyl or your local oldies radio station. Was I supposed to be impressed? Needless to say, I knew more about Ozzy Osbourne’s penchant for burritos than these two lovelies.

I assumed from the promos that “The Simple Life” was a fairly straightforward “reality” romp: pampered daughters of wealth attempting, with lippy pouts, to acclimate themselves on a labor intensive working-class farm. Who could resist peeking around the woodshed to watch some rich, swanky folk get their long overdue comeuppance? (We’ll show you how the other 98% live... Ha!) Something not entirely dissimilar had been produced on Public Television, a riveting show called “Frontier House,” but certainly it did without any of the puerile hype fermented by Fox, unreeling winsome clips of each lady in various states of undress and carousing---the promise of pubescent sexual tension hanging gamely in the air. “Frontier House” hurled astern three 2001 families into the fairly wretched, harrowing existence of American pioneers claiming their land rights and surviving on the frontier of 1883. “The Simple Life” teasers seemed to suggest we might be watching two California girls on Easy Street hoe a backwoods turnip patch... in their lingerie. "

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